" auctioneer "

 [ "auctions" ]

1: to bid and or place a bid on a item up for sale

  * e.g.,  ... today in California the auctions are going to be spectacular 

 [ "Auctioner" ]

1: A person in the passenger seat of an automobile that forgets they are giving directions to the driver only to yell the direction to turn multiple times at an unintelligible speed at the driver as the car goes past the desired turn.

  * e.g.,  ... I was giving Sara a Chicago Meat Hook last ni... Left!!! left!! left!! left!!!!!!! You missed the turn Gilligan! 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

1: When a group of Facebook trolls find random live streams and ask about an imaginary couch they are selling. These trolls normally focus on Pearl Parties and Jewelry Showcases being broadcasted on Facebook Live by old women. If one person asks, they look stupid, but when these trolls come in numbers 20+, they are powerful. They will call the broadcaster the opposite gender to anger them more. These trolls will send messages like:

  * e.g.,  ... Lady: Ok everyone, here is number 22 it is a silver neckla- 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

2: "Am I too late for the couch auction?"

  * e.g.,  ... Troll: Hi young man, am I too late for the Couch Auction? 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

3: "Young man/lady, did you sell the couch yet?"

  * e.g.,  ... Lady: No, this is not a couch auction and I am not a man. This is a jewelry showcase. 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

4: "Hi, is the couch still for sale?"

  * e.g.,  ... Troll: Ashanti sent me. She said you're selling your couch. Do not lie, little boy 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

5: "Hello, I saw a craigslist ad that said you were selling a couch."

  * e.g.,  ... Lady: I am not selling a couch! Get a life 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

6: "Your friend Ashanti told me you're selling a couch."

  * e.g.,  ... Troll: Shoe on head 

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

7: "Show us the couch little girl/boy."

 [ "Couch Auction" ]

8: "Shoe on head" The only way to fend these trolls off is putting a shoe on your head. They take a screenshot, put it in their troll group, then leave. All in all, they are very harmless and will not post obscene or vulgar messages on your live video. They just want to buy your couch or see a shoe on your head.

 [ "Silent Auctioning" ]

1: The act of staring at a womans camel toe, the opposite of basket shopping.

  * e.g.,  ... I was silent auctioning the shit out of this chicks vag today. 

 [ "auction hangover" ]

1: the bad feeling you experience after you drink too much at a charity auction and spend money you don't have

  * e.g.,  ... I have a bad auction hangover. I got drunk and bought a 9 liter bottle of fine wine. Unfortunately, I have to take out a second mortgage, but at least I outbid paddle #78 and showed him who's boss. Of course, I did it for the children. 

 [ "Auction Wank" ]

1: The act of masturbation in which the climax, being an orgasm or ejaculation, is perfectly in sync with some sort of auction (eBay etc). Created at around the very beginning of eBay, in London, when auctions became affiliated with computer systems. The year of 199

  * e.g.,  ... 'Hey guys, last night I had the best Auction Wank! I came just as I won my new wardrobe!' 

 [ "food auction" ]

1: The annoying few moments in a sub-par restaurant where a pimple faced and/or ESL food runner stands next to your table asking "who had the <insert entree here>"

  * e.g.,  ... I had to endure a 5 minute food auction at Molly's dinner party last night at Appleby's 

 [ "chinese auction" ]

1: When your cheap relatives won't buy real Christmas presents and they find crap they don't want anymore around their house and you trade with each other.

  * e.g.,  ... Looks like that fat bitch Dianne took my halfway decent gift in exchange for the shit she found in the dumpster that is her house for the chinese auction. 

 [ "chinese auction" ]

2: It's supposed to be funny, gag gifts unless your family is made up of stale, cheap Jesus freaks.

 [ "the Slave Auction" ]

1: When multiple men eliminate their feces onto multiple plates, and let a girl decide which one she wants rubbed on her face or chest. This is usually followed by chili dogs and Boston Pancakes.

  * e.g.,  ... We brought her back to my place for the slave auction. 

 [ "the Slave Auction" ]

2: A great party icebreaker.

 [ "Auction Stalking" ]

1: Watching an auction that you never intend to participate in, just to see how high it will go.

  * e.g.,  ... Person 1: Yo! I can't believe that cup went for $150 on Ebay! Person 2: How do you know it went that high? Person 1: Shoot, I was auction stalking it all night!