" wedding "

 [ "wedding" ]

1: The fusing of two metals with a hot torch.

  * e.g.,  ... Webster’s Dictionary defines wedding as “the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.” Well you know something? I think you guys are two metals … gold medals. 

 [ "wedding" ]

1: The instance of a £15,000/$27,000 event featuring two people taking the fisrt step toward divorce, recieving 12 toasters, dancing to lame Celine Dion songs and eating obscene amounts of cake.

  * e.g.,  ... Went to a wedding. Got drunk. 

 [ "wedding" ]

2: At least one embarrasing drunk is required.

 [ "wedding" ]

1: Typically, a $20,000-$50,000 party intended to represent a heterosexual couple's devotion to one another (see marriage). Such a party usually involves a year or more of planning and lasts only a single day.

  * e.g.,  ... You're going to stay married damnit, cause we didn't pay $40,000 on your wedding for nothing. -- A mother to her daughter 5 years after marriage. 

 [ "wedding" ]

1: a spiffy ceremony in which two people get married only to divorce/kill eachother a year later.

  * e.g.,  ... "when i say shotgun, you say wedding" 

 [ "wedding" ]

1: The process of removing one's weeds from one's garden

  * e.g.,  ... Websters defines a wedding as "The process of removing one's weeds from one's garden." - Homer Simpson 

 [ "wedding" ]

1: The most important day of a woman’s life. A day invented by women for women, planned since their early childhood, to eventually rob a man of half his life savings he has worked his entire adult life to achieve. Immediately after a woman accepts her alleged Prince Charming boyfriend’s proposal, her estrogen immediately turns her into a bridezilla and she goes into high gear calling her mother and friends, reads every issue of Modern Bride Magazine to get ideas for her dress, the bridesmaids dresses, the cake, the invitations, the flowers, and scoures the internet for where to take the honeymoon. All this while the nonchalant groom-to-be takes it all in stride and brags to his buddies how he will finally be able to get some whenever he wants (forgetting the fact that he hopes his bride-to-be will never find out he’s screwing one of the future bridesmaids and having to get a home pregnancy test). The groom-to-be, knowing he will soon not be single anymore, gives an all out effort to go to as many bars, nightclubs or strip joints with his buddies while he can to find all the girls he can screw before committing to “the one.”

  * e.g.,  ... A wedding is nothing more than an expensive day invented by women for women in an attempt to scheme a man of half his life savings it took his entire adult life to acheive. 

 [ "wedding" ]

2: The couple allegedly lives in several years of bliss, only to eventually end when both lovers hate each other and seek a divorce attorney. The woman eventually gets the man’s balls thru his wallet by getting half his life savings that took his entire adult life to achieve.

 [ "wedding" ]

1:  A waste of money.

  * e.g.,  ... Is a wedding really necessary? No. 

 [ "wedding" ]

2:  Just another thing invented by women for women, but men couldn’t care less.

 [ "wedding" ]

3:  A ceremony a nieve couple has to prepare for their upcoming fairytale marriage, only to kill each other a year later.

 [ "wedding" ]

4:  The first phase of a couple’s inevitable divorce.

 [ "wedding" ]

5:  The day you finally get to score without feeling guilty.

 [ "wedding" ]

6:  You take months to prepare for an expensive ceremony and get an expensive dress and eat an expensive cake to allegedly pledge your love to your beloved, by putting on a phony appearance with a phony smile to marry a phony person, only to discover the real person is a true jerk/bitch when the honeymoon is over.

 [ "wedding" ]

7: Hell, just go to Vegas. At least you won't still be paying for a stupid ceremony at the time you need a divorce attorney.

 [ "wedding" ]

1: A holy matrimony in which usually a man and a woman decides to live together forever, notwithstanding prenups and other crap and without a wedding gown which there would be no such ceremony.

  * e.g.,  ... I bought my perfect wedding gown at www.gownsshop.com at 50% off regular price, boy did I save a shit load! 

 [ "wedding" ]

1: were you say your vows to your partner

  * e.g.,  ... good wedding 

 [ "wedding" ]

1: An important day coming up in Kevin Voelker's life.

  * e.g.,  ... Kevin Voelker & Kelly McNamee's wedding will be "off the hook".