" marriage "

 [ "marriage" ]

1: the number one cause of divorce

 [ "marriage" ]

1: Betting someone half your shit you'll love them forever.

  * e.g.,  ... After pressuring me into marriage, Kendra now tells me that after 4 years she no longer loves me. So she gets to keep my house, my car, and my boat. I have to totally foot the bill to raise our children, and if I behave she'll let me see them every other weekend. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: long term prostitution

  * e.g.,  ... Instead of paying full price at the strip club, Jim used marriage to setup a payment plan. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: a licence to fuck

  * e.g.,  ... conservatives are big on protecting the sacred bond of marriage. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: What you should do when you are over 60. This makes sure that you wont get on each others nerves for very long.

  * e.g.,  ... Dorothy and Jon had a short marriage he died at 7 She barely got to know him. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: A matrimonial state as defined by: 1) Females: "Marriage is the opportunity for two souls to be legally bound together so that they can share their innermost thoughts and feelings while creating the most perfect life together." 2) Males: "Wow, a chick to take care of me like my mother used to - but with the added bonus of sex!"

  * e.g.,  ... See marriage definition above. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: the beginning of the end.

  * e.g.,  ... Oh boy, hes getting married, our thoughts and prayers go out to him. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: The triumph of imagination over intelligence.

  * e.g.,  ... Please don't ask me about my marriage. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: For many, the phase of a relationship in which delight turns to disappointment and romance turns to resentment. Then she turns to her girlfriends and he turns to drink. Presently they turn on each other. He turns to a mistress, she to a divorce lawyer. Their home turns into hers but their mortgage turns into his. The sons turn into junkies, the daughters into teenage moms. And that's the bright side, because in many cases that's as close to a turn-on as marriage gets. Unless you're very, very, VERRRRY careful, and willing to wait and wait and WAAAAIIIIIIT for a truly exceptional person to enter your life, AND for real love between you to grow. A marriage founded on that rock-solid basis still has only a 50/50 chance of success (i.e. boredom) or failure (i.e. the tragedy described above), because marriage often changes people, leaving you shackled to a stranger. Yet that's as good as life's going to get, kid. Suddenly the Navy doesn't sound so bad, does it?

  * e.g.,  ... Marriage should only be attempted by those blessed with incredible luck. 

 [ "marriage" ]

1: Marriage is that wonderful time in the lives of two people where they demonstrate their love and devotion to each other. After the ceremony, the new couple will go somewhere nice to bang. Then it all goes to Jahannam. First wifey will quit work to watch Lifetime (one of many Feminazi channels). Then she will slip up and spill the truth about why she was a virgin going to the honeymoon destination and wasn't when they first fucked. Then it will come to light that she was under a mountain of debt from Payday loan(sharks) and keep bitching until he gets a second, or third, job. Then he'll have to get out some payday loans to pay her payday loans or even less sex for him. Then, while he's working all the time, she'll be banging the mailman, her boyfriend, the cable guy, the internet guy, and any other guy but her hubby. This hell goes on for about two years. Then comes the blissful stage known as divorce. This is the time the truth comes out (the shit hit the fan when they left for their honeymoon) and she bitches about how she "had" to fuck everyone but her dearest husband since he abused and neglected her, working when he should have been home. After that torment, comes the alimony stage. So in the end, he's got 25% of his paycheck, none of the account (she got to it first), and just enough for a shack downtown and a tranny hooker (all the real girls were her best friends and probably coworkers). Meanwhile lil' wifey will have two new husbands and countless fuck buddies. Have fun.

  * e.g.,  ... In short, marriage is the worst ass fucking possible.