" professors "

 [ "The Professor" ]

1: When a male fixes the bridge of a pair of glasses to the base of the shaft of his penis and enters an orifice of his partner.

  * e.g.,  ... I had a date with this dumb chick and when I took her home, I gave her The Professor. 

 [ "Professor" ]

1: Someone who talks in someone else's sleep.

  * e.g.,  ... Why does Professor Connolly always put on a video right after I eat lunch? 

 [ "professor" ]

1: A person who thinks they are so much smarter than everyone else in the world.

  * e.g.,  ... "Whatever you say Professor." 

 [ "professor" ]

2:  A nerd with a giant ego.

 [ "professor" ]

1: A person who is an expert at his or her field of study.

  * e.g.,  ... Want to know why Professors suck at grading? Because they were never taught how to grade...They were not taught how to teach. 

 [ "professor" ]

2: Professors do not have a degree in education or teaching.

 [ "professor" ]

3: Matter of fact, I don't know why the silly bastards are allowed to teach without a degree in education.

 [ "professor" ]

1: Professors are self-proclaimed intellectuals who are failures in the professional world.

  * e.g.,  ... Professor Jones appropriated $100,000 to research if the poor performance of his class was due to his own incompetence. The results were inconclusive. 

 [ "professor" ]

2: While the supposed job description of a professor entails teaching, in actuality most professors know absolutely nothing about teaching. However, many professors will not hesitate to take a student's tuition money, not teach him anything, and then test him on what he was never taught.

 [ "professor" ]

3: The other main activity of a professor is embezzling money (that could have been spent on useful things) for their own "research". Usually, this "research" involves topics that nobody outside of academia will ever care about or find a practical application for.

 [ "professor" ]

4: Take solace in the fact that your professors earn a miserable salary in proportion to the level of education they have attained.

 [ "professor" ]

1: Usually an arrogant person who hates America

  * e.g.,  ... Joe: Hey Professor I have a question for you. Professor: ok Joe: Are you a communist or a socialist? 

 [ "Professor" ]

1: Professor is a term of respect given to pinao players in New Orleans. Originally, the term might have been bestowed ironically on the piano players playing in brothels, but has more general and nonironic use nowadays to refer to any type of soloist musician.

  * e.g.,  ... Tip the professor at least a five before you go. Doing this is good form, Dawlin'. 

 [ "The Professor" ]

1: Riding a chick doggystyle wearing nothing but loafers and reading glasses. While upon ejaculation, yell out "that's an A+" and smack her ass with a yardstick.

  * e.g.,  ... Turtle: "I cannot wait to get that fenix back to the schoolhouse and show her the professor" Barber: "Yeah, she's got that A+ talent" 

 [ "the professor" ]

1: The ruse of having a guy come over to fix something, with the real intention of having sex with him. Much the same way Marianne, Ginger, Mrs. Howell, and the Skipper, used to play the Professor on the ol' TV classic Gilligan's Island.

  * e.g.,  ... Elaine worked the professor on Newman. She had him come over to fix her mail slot, and he delivered all over her. 

 [ "professor" ]

1: One that gives knowledge

  * e.g.,  ... Man, I'm meeting up with some professors this weekend...it's gonna be good.