" academe "

 [ "Academitis" ]

1: Academitis is a condition that afflicts middle to upper class people educated to PhD level. Symptoms include: a distorted perception of self that is manifested as either arrogance or low self-esteem; fear of failure; blind ambition; self-imposed anxiety and depression with bouts of mania; mid- to high-level substance abuse. Sufferers of Academitis avoid discussing their emotions by intellectualizing them, frequently referring to books and articles written on the subject. The condition is likely to be accompanied by obsessive-compulsive behavior and thought processes.

  * e.g.,  ... I am not sure if I developed Academitis because of my PhD or if I am doing a PhD because I suffer from Academitis. 

 [ "academic" ]

1: as an adjective -- insufferably obtuse

  * e.g.,  ... adj.: that essay was so downright academic i didn't even bother taking my benzos before bed. noun: this academic keeps going on and on about the most insanely boring shit practically nobody has ever heard of. 

 [ "academic" ]

2: as a noun -- an un-entertaining charlatan

 [ "academic validation" ]

1: feeling achieved or appreciated when receiving praise in school. while it can be a good motivator, constantly seeking academic validation can become a problem mentally. this can lead to purposefully overworking yourself to feel that adrenaline rush that comes with good marks.

  * e.g.,  ... Mom: Why are your grades so bad? 

 [ "academic welfare" ]

1: The dumbing-down of standards at branch/regional campuses so that their lower-class students can pass and ultimately graduate.

  * e.g.,  ... Man, this test was hard! Where's my "academic welfare"? 

 [ "Academic Weapon" ]

1: An individual (typically a student) that acquires traits that are seen by many as scholarly.

  * e.g.,  ... Tyler is an academic weapon, he manages to take 4 AP courses, while still being on honor roll every semester. 

 [ "academic bulemia" ]

1: The process of learning or memorizing by rote, subsequently followed by the regurgitation of that knowledge onto an exam answer sheet. Just as with the serious eating disorder, this form of bulemia results in no real retention of substance.

  * e.g.,  ... I can't remember anything that I learned last night. It's like I grabbed the answer sheet, puked out all the answers and forgot everything immediately. I'd say that's academic bulemia. 

 [ "academic bulemia" ]

2: This term is frequently applied to describe a common practice of young medical students.

 [ "Academic Wank" ]

1: Academic Wank describes a writing method employed by students of any subject, (but especially psychology,) who may not necessarily have all the facts at their fingertips, but need to pad-out an essay with some generalised waffle in order to meet the minimum word-count requirement for the coursework set. Often used most in the early hours of the morning before a deadline, academic wank must be employed alongside content with actual intellectual merit in order to not result in a fail. Requires less research than an essay that will get you a first class degree.

  * e.g.,  ... "The research methods essay? yeah, I didn't use enough references really, but I typed out some academic wank and handed it in anyway." 

 [ "for academic purposes" ]

1: This is what people refer to when using the acronym FAP (or fap). Used in place of its acronym when attempting to confuse others in the conversation, even if the intent is obvious.

  * e.g.,  ... BRB, I need to go to the bathroom for academic purposes. 

 [ "academic crush" ]

1: An intense, non-sexual attraction to a person of great knowledge, authority, or experience, such as a professor, historian, political figure, scientist, or author. Persons affected by this syndrome may respond to the target by blushing, giggling, and avoiding eye contact after meeting or during conversations, much like the response of many people when they experience a romantic crush on another person.

  * e.g.,  ... "Amy developed an academic crush on Professor Potts during Shakespeare 352 Winter semester. If she could have, she would have loved to listen to him talk in iambic pentameter all day. But when she tried to talk to him after class, she suddenly found she couldn't say anything intelligent at all." 

 [ "academic hustler" ]

1: A person who works the education system to his/her advantage in order to attain the highest achievement, usually while minimizing effort. Does not require cheating, only a keen understanding of how to succeed in academics, such as exploiting teacher biases by studying the way a teacher grades and thinks in order to tailor one's answer to his/her preferences and not necessarily to what the perceived objectively correct answer actually is.

  * e.g.,  ... David seems to never do any work but gets straight A's -- he's such an academic hustler. Rebecca did all the reading, then read the paper prompt, wrote the paper and received a B+; Eva read the prompt, looked in the index of the book for keywords and read the relevant passages, wrote the paper and got an A, the latter is obviously an academic hustler. John takes the maximum number of courses a quarter, takes the hardest classes, has a 7 GPA and is still unemployed; his friend, an academic hustler, took it easy but has a 9 and currently a six figure salary.