" midwife "

 [ "midwife" ]

1: A person, usually a woman, who is trained to assist women in childbirth.

  * e.g.,  ... I'm so glad that my midwife helped me while I was in labor. 

 [ "midwife" ]

1: A non-medical professional with no training who "helps" babies be born. While midwives fell greatly in favor in the past due to modern medicine, they are currently experiencing a slight comeback because hippies are stupid.

  * e.g.,  ... "We're thinking about hiring a midwife for our baby instead of a licensed medical doctor." 

 [ "midwife" ]

1: A wife who isn't as attractive as all the other guys' wives who are out there winning, but at least she's a great mother.

  * e.g.,  ... Origin of midwife. POSTED by Twitter user @Benaskren. "I’ve seen some guys posting on social media lately about how they are winning bc their wife is attractive, while I don’t disagree I think finding a wife who is a great mother is 500% more important!!! Thanks @Abamaby for being such a great mom to our kids." 

 [ "Midwife" ]

1: A person who provides personalized and professional care to a mother prior to, during, and after a birth. Midwives provide an opportunity for a natural birth in a safe environment and focuses on what is best for the mother and baby.

  * e.g.,  ... Having a midwife help to deliver my baby was one of the best decisions I've ever made. 

 [ "Midwife" ]

2: Synonyms include Wonder Woman, family, birth junkies, and some of the strongest women you'll ever meet.

 [ "Midwife" ]

1: Slut that a gentleman bangs between wives.

  * e.g.,  ... You know that high class dude ain't gonna keep bangin' that stank ho forever. She's just a midwife. 

 [ "Midwife" ]

1: A person, usually a woman who dragged out the baby from the pregnant woman's vagina.

  * e.g.,  ... "The midwife is sticking her fingers in to reach the baby's head" 

 [ "Call the Midwife" ]

1: A BBC period drama series about a group of nurse midwives working in the East End of London in the 1950s and 1960s

  * e.g.,  ... I'm chillin out and next thing I know, somebody's screaming in agony in the other room. I walk over to see what's up and I say to my lady friend "Hey! Its that show where somebody's giving birth every 5 minutes" . She says "Yup! I'm watching Call the Midwife again" 

 [ "Midwife Crisis" ]

1: The act of dropping a newborn on its head shortly after birth.

  * e.g.,  ... Please direct your thoughts and prayers to little Jimmy, Nurse Butterfingers had a midwife crisis. 

 [ "Mexican Midwife" ]

1: When taking a dump with a turd half-way in and half-way out, flush the toilet and have the suction pull the rest of the turd out of you like a midwife delivering a baby.

  * e.g.,  ... It was a hard shit until I used the Mexican Midwife. 

 [ "Midwife Crisis" ]

1: The period of time after a divorce when a man gets in shape, buys new clothes and a flashy car. Usually fairly short lived as remarriage is imminent. Very similar to a midlife crises but not age related.

  * e.g.,  ... Have you seen John's new wardrobe? Ever since his divorce he is having total midwife crisis.