" newsletters "

 [ "newsletter" ]

1:  An informative email message sent to a list of subscribers on a regular basis.

  * e.g.,  ... Most newsletter recipients wonder how the heck they got subscribed to most of their newsletters. 

 [ "newsletter" ]

2:  Spam messages sent on a regular basis to a purchased mailing list of non-consenting "subscribers".

 [ "newsletter" ]

3:  An unsolicited spam message sent specifically to offend the recipients in order to provoke them into clicking an unsubscribe link that in reality enrolls them into mailing lists to be sold to spammers. See also spam riot.

 [ "opportunities newsletter" ]

1: that great thing in your inbox that has opportunities in it

  * e.g.,  ... Have you checked you opportunities newsletter yet? I hear it has lots of great opportunities. 

 [ "Discreet Newsletter" ]

1: Similar to a reach around, this is the sexual process of tickling a partner's genitals (inclusive of ball fondling and cheeky fingering) but from a side angle or around a corner (the sneakier the better). The aim being that it's like sneaking local news, spam or junk mail into someone's letterbox which provides mutual, but secret, satisfaction that A. They've delivered news and B. You've received something you like but don't want to publicly disclose.

  * e.g.,  ... Last night I was at a house party and I slipped my girlfriend a discreet newsletter in the kitchen. My boyfriend didn't look impressed in the club so I gave him a discreet newsletter. 

 [ "Newsletter Parent" ]

1: Parent who doesn't listen never turns up for the child and only wants something to put in the newsletter to send to other parents who are busy ignoring their own kids. Lives in denial and thinks it is still the 1980's in complete ignorance of the economic and environmental mess they have bequeathed to future generations. Spends there time buying investment properties making it harder for people to buy a house, and taking holidays while young people do it tougher each year.

  * e.g.,  ... My newsletter parent wanted something for her Christmas newsletter.