" marketing "

 [ "marketing" ]

1: Origin unknown. Purpose unknown. States the obvious, accepts all credit, rejects all blame.

  * e.g.,  ... see above for example. Be wary of any person who says they are "Marketing". Lose all hope when dealing with a "Marketing Consultant". 

 [ "marketing" ]

2: An increasingly common plague found in the work place which causes annoyance and despair in other co-workers. Thrives on board-meetings, dependent on company mobile phones, Outlook, and a considerable yearly budget with no questions asked on how its gets pissed up the wall on nothing. Able to speak but prefers to do any communication through email which is the sole purpose of computers.

 [ "marketing" ]

3: Uses any opportunity to voice their opinions and set policy on matters which are none of their concern and to which they have knowledge of. Usually the bane of any Web-Developers existence.

 [ "marketing" ]

4: Able to plan projects perfectly without any of the minor concerns such as development or implementation.

 [ "marketing" ]

5: Curiously, all Marketing plague-people start as a Manager. There is no lower position available although there is never actually anyone to manage.

 [ "marketing" ]

1: Bull Shit with fine print.

  * e.g.,  ... (XYZ printer): Prints at 80 pages per minute! (The fine print: 80 pages per minute is achieved by placing one letter 'A' at 12 pitch type, in the middle of the page) 

 [ "marketing" ]

1: To drive to the market for the purpose of buying groceries or food. First used by Congressman in the Toyota Sudden Acceleration Senate Hearing.

  * e.g.,  ... (They) need their cars to do their marketing. 

 [ "marketing" ]

1: An industry full of individuals who are a waste of space and do not understand how to design ANYTHING for the internet.

  * e.g.,  ... John: Hi Steve, can you build this site we've designed. 

 [ "marketing" ]

2: See also: Advertisers

  * e.g.,  ... Steve: No Steve, your design is fucking retarded and does not work for the internet. Idiot marketing department. 

 [ "Marketing" ]

1: You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

  * e.g.,  ... See Above for the example 

 [ "Marketing" ]

2: That's Direct Marketing

 [ "Marketing" ]

3: You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, "He's fantastic in bed."

 [ "Marketing" ]

4: That's Advertising

 [ "Marketing" ]

5: You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

 [ "Marketing" ]

6: That's Telemarketing

 [ "Marketing" ]

7: You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. You get up and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

 [ "Marketing" ]

8: That's Public Relations

 [ "Marketing" ]

9: You're at a party and see a gorgeous girl. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."

 [ "Marketing" ]

10: That's Brand Recognition

 [ "Marketeer" ]

1: A portmanteau of the words ‘Marketing’ and ‘Buccaneer’, created by Brand Managers in an attempt to make them sound more dynamic.

  * e.g.,  ... Bob “I ran into Dwain Dibbley the other day.” 

 [ "market" ]

1: An area or arena in which commercial dealings are conducted.

  * e.g.,  ... "Let's get that bread," George said as he took his first steps into the crowded market. 

 [ "Marketable" ]

1: A female or male that is extremely hot and could be used in underwear advertisement.

  * e.g.,  ... Me: Bro, that chick I took home from the bar last night is hella marketable. Bro: Word! 

 [ "on the market" ]

1: You are single

  * e.g.,  ... Hey baby I'm on the market 

 [ "Marketing" ]

1: A career in which people (normally men who have an issue with their sexuality and drive Mopeds) state the obvious and get paid a lot of money for it. They normally have catchy initials like AA or RR and spend a lot of time getting their signature to look important

  * e.g.,  ... Anyone wearing a pink shirt on a regular basis and working in Hammersmith.