" bilateral "

 [ "Bilateral Bitch" ]

1: An "insult" to be used strictly for mindfuckery against mildly intelligent individuals who will pause to figure out what the Fuck you just called them

  * e.g.,  ... Sally: get off the pong table it's my turn Mel: ugh you're such a bilateral Bitch -Mel proceeds to play another game of beer pong while Sally tries to figure out what she was just called 

 [ "bilateral clusterfuck" ]

1: A clusterfuck in multiple areas of a single project or situation.

  * e.g.,  ... That toga party would have been awesome but planning it became such a bilateral clusterfuck, we never could have pulled it off 

 [ "Bilateral eureka" ]

1: (This is the complete definition from my Ph.D. dissertation in 200) "This is the Holy Grail of what, it seems, many daters are looking for. It's important that some "energy/feeling/connection" or "chemistry" be present to develop rapport with a stranger. Habitual daters who are expecting to be swept off their feet with the next date may be missing this Eureka feeling by having unrealistic expectations. Many people seem to know in the first 15 minutes or so of a first meeting whether or not there is a future to the relationship, but it is hard to get to know a person that quickly. It's difficult for one person to be enchanted with the other person, and substantially more difficult for two strangers to both feel "eureka" when they meet the next stranger."

  * e.g.,  ... After having gone on lots of first blind dates over the last few months, he knew after just a few minutes that she was special. And she told him that she was just what she'd been looking for as well. It was as if the angels were singing when they met, and they both felt a rare and special warmth for each other that they hadn't felt on a first date in a long, long time. The sparks were there for both of them. They had found the elusive and wonderful "bilateral eureka" that makes people keep on dating until both have found that special, rare and amazing person. (Unless they've settled for someone less amazing!) 

 [ "bilateral samsonite" ]

1: Known to EMTs and paramedics, the individual who needlessly calls 911 for an imagined emergency and is waiting on the curb with two packed suitcases when the ambulance arrives, assuming that he or she will be staying in the hospital for some time (where hopefully personal attention, sympathy, food, and pain medications will be administered).

  * e.g.,  ... We thought we were responding to a heart attack, but we actually had a bilateral samsonite. Her bogus respiratory distress complaint was actually a bilateral samsonite. 

 [ "bilateral gynandromorph" ]

1: an extremely rare half-male, half-female crab

  * e.g.,  ... I accidently put a bilateral gynandromorph in a tank with a female crab. Oops. 

 [ "bilateral strategically stalking" ]

1: two separate individual’s plan of action to simultaneously give obsessive attention to one another in an inconspicuous yet playful manner to achieve a particular goal

  * e.g.,  ... The way those two are bilateral strategically stalking each other at this party, the night should have a happy ending for both of them. 

 [ "Bilateral" ]

1:  having or relating to two sides; affecting both sides.

  * e.g.,  ... "bilateral hearing is essential for sound location" 

 [ "Bilateral" ]

2:  involving two parties, especially countries.

 [ "Bilateral Collateral Whiz" ]

1: Bilateral collateral whiz(male oriented).....when you go to whiz and a pubic hair has become lodged at the end of your weiner,bisecting the “hole”.this causes whiz to come out multidirectionally,missing the toilet and often soaking the floor

  * e.g.,  ... When my wife slipped on the toilet floor due to my bilateral collateral whiz from evening before,I knew I was in trouble! 

 [ "The Bilateral Backside WipeOsaurusRex" ]

1: When the Big Ass Bowel Movement becomes so wet, watery, and wild, that you can no longer decipher exactly where shit has landed. So you are forced to roll out a big piece of toilet paper and fold it into one extra long piece of paper. Then (crucially) grabbing it with BOTH hands and simultaneously wiping both Ass cheeks at the same time, to ensure all remnants of watery shit are effectively removed from the ass cheeks.

  * e.g.,  ... "Dude! I just had to pull out The Bilateral Backside WipeOsaurusRex in there! Was a shittastrophy!" "Last night I ate an entire pint of whiskey flavored ice cream... been doing The Bilateral Backside WipeOsaurusRex all morning!!!"