" telescopes "

 [ "telescope" ]

1: One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.

  * e.g.,  ... (FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY) *Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.* LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night? RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move. LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened? RAJ: Why? You writing a book? SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret. RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?! SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone. *Howard walks over to the table.* HOWARD: Hey. LEONARD: Hey. SHELDON: Hello. HOWARD: Hey. RAJ: Hey. LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night? *Howard and Raj both react with shock.* HOWARD: Where'd that come from?! RAJ: He never touched my telescope!! HOWARD: Way to go shutting up! RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up! HOWARD: Fine! RAJ: Thank you! RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning. 

 [ "Telescoping" ]

1: A form of urethra play, in which an individual with a very large penis is fucked in the urethra by someone with a smaller penis

  * e.g.,  ... Dude#1“Bro u ever stick a cotton bud up in ya dickhole? Shits dope” Dude#2“Bitch please u ever try telescoping? Get yo dick out and lemme fuck your dick with my dick” 

 [ "telescoping" ]

1: to masturbate into a tube and then ejaculate through the tube into someones eye

  * e.g.,  ... i was banging this bird last night. grabbed a toilet roll tube and proceeded in some telescoping 

 [ "Telescoping" ]

1: Doing research on someone in a professional capacity, as preparation for an interview or informational meet up. I.e. you've only interacted briefly through email, so now you need to know what they look like, where/what they studied, and what work they're doing now, etc. before you hop on the phone or meet for an in-person coffee. Can also be purely interest-based, e.g. someone you think is doing cool shit, want to get to know, and possibly collab with. Basically internet stalking, but with the goal to come prepared to have a great convo and finesse a connection. Something ambitious millennial artists and yuppies do, so they're in the know with dope people in their industry.

  * e.g.,  ... I'm getting coffee with them tomorrow, but I don't even know what they look like, so I'll have to do some telescoping tonight. 

 [ "Telescope" ]

1: Putting your eye to the end of a penis as the guy cums into your eye and you keep it there until it goes soft.

  * e.g.,  ... Jane saw that Ben was hard and said "do you want to telescope", Ben unzipped his trousers. 

 [ "telescope" ]

1: A great instrument used to spy on sexy ladies getting dressed.

  * e.g.,  ... Try watching a sexy girl get dressed with a telescope. 

 [ "the telescope" ]

1: when being at an overcrowded location ( eg train, tram, bus ) you encounter a massive boner and thus the action of 'telescoping' must be employed. this means flippin your erect peepee out of your pants not forming a bulge in the crotch area, rather hiding it smugly paralell to your stomach, under your tshirt.

  * e.g.,  ... "Dude i had such a massive bone on the bus that i had to do a telescope!" 

 [ "Telescope" ]

1: Putting a glass cup, preferably clear, up a girls vagina or ass, and using the bottom of the cup to magnify the inside of the vagina or ass.

  * e.g.,  ... Hey baby, mind if I use my special Telescope! 

 [ "Telescope" ]

1: A mythical creature, one with large molar teeth and a scally forehead. Famed for the killing of little girls with the famous 'get alice' machine.

  * e.g.,  ... 'Telascope, on the side, get alice!!!' 

 [ "japanese telescope" ]

1: When the girl jerks off the man's penis in resemblance to a telescope. The man proceeds to cum in the woman's eye making her squint like a Japanese person.

  * e.g.,  ... I have the Japanese telescope ready ;).