" maintenance "

 [ "Maintenance" ]

1: The time that someone takes for the appearance to get ready

  * e.g.,  ... how long does it take for you to get ready? are you high maintenance? 

 [ "maintenize" ]

1: when a maintenance associate is doing their actual duty.

  * e.g.,  ... "Manuel can maintenize like no otha motha when it comes to fixing things." 

 [ "Maintenance" ]

1: in reference to a hand-job, (aka handie)

  * e.g.,  ... we couldn't fuck because her mom was awake in the next room, so i let her give me some maintenance. 

 [ "Maintenance" ]

2: handy-man does mantenance.

 [ "crowbar maintenance" ]

1: An event which is not actually maintenance, but a form of destruction or demolition.

  * e.g.,  ... "The building was undergoing 'crowbar maintenance'. It was rubble by the next day." 

 [ "Maintenance Cocktail" ]

1: Spirits generally mixed with some sort of fruit juice and normally consumed in the late morning and/or early afternoon to help alleviate a particularly nasty hangover. Standard versions include Vodka/Cranberry, Screwdrivers, left over Hard Seltzers, and of course the Danimal. Also known as a Breakfast Cocktail when in Maui, a Maintenance Cocktail is essential for anyone who needs to rally and is eager to start working on the next day’s hangover.

  * e.g.,  ... Dave: Woof, I think we went a little overboard on the Peach Daiquiris last night.. Yoko: That’s why I stuck with white wine all night like a boss. Dave: Good for you. I need to screw my head back on with a Maintenance Cocktail. Pass me the Gin and Tang. 

 [ "Maintenance Wank" ]

1: When you're participating in nofap and you begin to over sexualise things, like apple pies and peanut butter sandwhiches, it's time for a maintenance wank. This keeps your inner sexual deviant at bay, while also reducing the amount of awkward boners you might experience.

  * e.g.,  ... Guy 1: "I keep getting stiffies when I see anything that vaguely resembles titties or a vagina, it's killing me." 

 [ "Shaft Maintenance" ]

1: When you got to clear the weeds, release some finely aged fluids, wax and lube up the shaft.

  * e.g.,  ... Person A: Hey bro you free tomorrow? 

 [ "Percussive Maintenance" ]

1: The fine art of bludgeoning an electronic device in order to encourage it to work properly. Vigorous usage of this technique often renders said device permanently nonfunctional.

  * e.g.,  ... My goddamned monitor was flickering until I used some percussive maintenance; now it's totally dead and Help Desk is bringing me a new one. 

 [ "life maintenance" ]

1: The basic things one needs to do to keep life flowing smoothly along. May include, but not limited to: laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning (of refrigerator, bathroom, kitchen), paying bills.

  * e.g.,  ... "What'cha doin' Saturday?" 

 [ "maintenance call" ]

1: Periodic phone calls placed to one's significant other when out for a prolonged period of time (eg 4 hours or more) with friends. The periodic phone call is intentionally structured to prevent a blow-up or fight after the outing is concluded, which would invariably take ten times longer to resolve that the time to place a brief check-in call.

  * e.g.,  ... "Hey, let me put in a maintenance call to my woman, before we go into the bar."