" impair "

 [ "impaired" ]

1: alcohol intoxicated, drunk

  * e.g.,  ... I think you are becoming impaired faster than you realize. 

 [ "impairment" ]

1: the state of having a physical or mental condition which means that part of your body or brain does not work correctly; a particular condition of this sort

  * e.g.,  ... impairment of the functions of the kidney 

 [ "Lingo Impaired" ]

1: Lingo impaired

  * e.g.,  ... To be ebonically handicapped is to be lingo impaired. 

 [ "Lingo Impaired" ]

2: To be limited in your ability or to be completely unable to speak, understand or write in the linguistic stylings of other peoples and cultures.

 [ "Ebonically Impaired" ]

1: Describes the state of a person cannot learn to speak, read, or write or understand the Ebonics Language.

  * e.g.,  ... Patient: Dr. Crakerjack when I find myself traversing through the underserved areas of our fair city I find myself unable to understand or to verbally communicate with the natives indicative to these communities. Doctor: Whitey don't be alarmed, Perhaps it is nothing, but I suspect you might be EBONICALLY IMPAIRED. Let's get you checked into the hospital and run some test though before we panic. 

 [ "Technologically impaired" ]

1: someone that has NO CLUE on how to use technology, such as computers, cell phones, ipods, mp3s.

  * e.g.,  ... Meh: Did you see her in the computer lab today? 

 [ "Textually Impaired" ]

1: A person who has great trouble SMS messaging. These people typically think texting is either stupid or do not do it enough to be very good at it. An SMS response from a textually impaired person typically takes a long time to receive, even if the message is simply 'yes' or 'no'.

  * e.g.,  ... (Sent in a text message) 'You can call me if you're that textually impaired.' 

 [ "Socially Impaired" ]

1: A lack of interest in ordinary socially acceptable situations involving groups of unlike-minded people which results in an inability to effectively converse with those same unlike-minded people.

  * e.g.,  ... Socially Impaired Bob stayed at home with his two best friends playing video games, watching movies, drinking beer and eating pizza instead of going to the club with Socially Acceptable Mary. They both had fun, but Mary accused Bob of not knowing how to have fun because what Bob did is not the Socially Acceptable form of fun. 

 [ "Socially Impaired" ]

2: The Socially Impaired have fun on a more personal level. Our enjoyment comes from groups of like-minded people conversing and interacting with eachother in familiar places. The Socially Acceptable often herd to bars and clubs for their fun with mostly strangers.

 [ "The Living Impaired" ]

1: Zombies. As defined by Bart Simpson.

  * e.g.,  ... (Upon trying to raise their pet, Snowball I, from the dead) 

 [ "Google Impaired" ]

1: Someone who can't use Google properly. Often times is told by someone to look up something on Google but can't give a web address worth mentioning.

  * e.g.,  ... I was told to look for a site where you can get a free sample of a specific song, but since I am Google Impaired, it was nearly impossible to find. 

 [ "visually impaired" ]

1: Politically correct term for blindness.

  * e.g.,  ... He is not blind as a bat! He's visually impaired.