" chauffeur "

 [ "chauffeur" ]

1: A man who is a free ride for a woman. He pay's for everything and provides transportation but gets nothing in return.

  * e.g.,  ... Jack: "Connor, what the hell!"  

 [ "chauffeur" ]

1: One who prevents overly friendly or sexual contact between others, e.g. a parent being with a young couple during the couple's date. A third wheel. A guardian of someone who is drunk. One who acts as a guide to others.

  * e.g.,  ... Oh, Jerry, dear... Ronny's girlfriend is coming over and they're going to be watching movies. I don't need another grandchild yet, so I want you to chauffeur. I drew the short straw, so I promised Avery I'm gonna chauffeur Jack during our bar walk to keep him from starting fights and getting his ass kicked. Again. I know some great hiking spots nearby... do you want a chauffeur?! 

 [ "chauffeuring" ]

1: To drive someone around while they have sexual intercourse in the back seat.

  * e.g.,  ... Last night after the concert ended, my friend masturbated while chauffeuring me. 

 [ "tipping the chauffeur" ]

1: When a passenger in a vehicle inserts two fingers into a female passenger's vagina and then reaches forward and sticks the fingers underneath the nose of the driver.

  * e.g.,  ... Mike was fond of tipping the chauffeur when he was in the back of Eric's car with his girlfriend Brittany. 

 [ "Shit chauffeur" ]

1: Also "Shit Showfer" One who drives a party bus, late night taxi or Uber service, or designated driver for the evening. Often forced to manage or at least put up with inebriated drama.

  * e.g.,  ... "I had to buy a whole case of baking soda and Kleenex for my Shit Chauffeur job tonight hauling around a bachelorette party. I heard two of the bridesmaids used to go out with the groom; which should really make it a red letter night." 

 [ "Dyslexic Chauffeur" ]

1: When a girl sucks on your balls while tickling your penis at the same time. First invented in 1937 by an Irishman named Ewen McGenehey. It was properly patented in the famous "Madame de Sausage" brothel in Northern France.

  * e.g.,  ... Kenneth: "Honey this is truly a wonderful dyslexic chauffeur you are giving me." Steve: "How about we go back to my place for a dyslexic chauffeur" Bill: "My balls are very comfortable at the moment. At the same time my penis is tickled! This is amazing! What do you call it?" 

 [ "Ghost Chauffeur" ]

1: What you would call a person who opens a door from the other side while you simultaneously try to push your side of the door; causing a startling reaction for both parties.

  * e.g.,  ... I got so Ghost Chauffeured on the way into the bathroom today, scared the shit outa' me! 

 [ "chauffeur driven Mercedes" ]

1: A euphemism for a bus

  * e.g.,  ... I take a chauffeur driven Mercedes to work every morning. 

 [ "Chauffeuring it" ]

1: When a little child thinks he's cool so he hangs out with old people willingly.

  * e.g.,  ... @chaffer_ on Discord likes older people and it's kinda weird ngl. Someone should dm him and tell him that's weird. He can't stop Chauffeuring it. 

 [ "Chauffeur" ]

1: To fuck so forcefully it drives the other one forward each time you hump them

  * e.g.,  ... It was so rough last night I chauffeured her to the other room