" awards "

 [ "Awardal" ]

1: (a-ward-ul) verb. To be awarded a project or job that you put a biddal on. Usually used by the most experienced salesman in the construction industry.

  * e.g.,  ... The project Awardal will go to the lowest bidder. 

 [ "award" ]

1: Stands for being :

  * e.g.,  ... Man Tom woods is such an unpopular fgusc i bet he lives to collect awards. 

 [ "award" ]

2: Assraped With A Rotating Device.

 [ "award" ]

3: Usually enjoyed by a fgusc or tom woods

 [ "Granny Awards" ]

1: An annual celebration of Archaicisms, primarily serving as an ego defense mechanism for Boomers (and other old people.)

  * e.g.,  ... Nominated for 2014 Granny Awards Rock Album of the Year: Zeppelin, Sabbath, Bowie and Neil Young -- Four acts that were "too hip to be square"* around 1970. Kings of Leon and Queens of the Stone Age -- Named after a passe form of government and a truly ancient Age of Tech. How desperately we cling to illusions of youth and relevancy. -- Citizen of the Galaxy * Once upon a time, even Before the Flood, contemporaneous fans of "Old Blue Eyes" and the "Candy Man" embarrassed themselves with such phrases, in a vain attempt to sustain their own relevance. Please, STOP THE MADNESS! 

 [ "Darwin Awards" ]

1: An "award" given to people who contribute the most to the evolution of humanity by removing their genes from the gene pool. Sometimes given to people who simply sterilize themselves, but most of the recipiants have ended up dead because of their actions.

  * e.g.,  ... Inflamable means flamable? What a country! 

 [ "Darwin Awards" ]

2: Basically, the concept is that people kill/injure themselves to the point where reproduction is no longer possible whilst doing something surrealistically stupid. By insuring that their stupid genes to not spread, they ultimately help humanity and thus recieve an award.

 [ "Darwin Awards" ]

3: While the concept is funny enough, the actual awards are usually very mean spirited.

 [ "Coaches award" ]

1: An award given to the following kind of players: one who was pleasant to be around, enthusiastic, never misses practices, always willing to learn, overcame a certain fear while playing, etcetera

  * e.g.,  ... that girl won the coaches award for basketball. 

 [ "Wholesome award" ]

1: The infamous award in reddit. Apparently, redditors often give this award to serious posts

  * e.g.,  ... teenager: *gets brutally killed by a bear* the redditards: Seems wholesome to me *give wholesome award* 

 [ "grammy award" ]

1: Used to be an alright system of giving merit to exceptionally good singers. Now it's just a rigged scamfest where talentless idiots get awarded just for being on MTV, VH-1, or B.E.T..

  * e.g.,  ... Few Grammy Awards are being given to those who make real music but are too poor to get any attention. 

 [ "Darwin Award" ]

1: The Darwin Award is a fictional award which is given out to people who commit acts of utter stupidity that often involve their own injury or even death. The name is derived from Charles Darwin's Theory of Evolution (survival of the fittest), since the winners of the Darwin award aren't expected to survive long enough or remain capable of propagating their own hereditary stupidity. Some people attempt to win the Darwin award, however this is risky since if you don't get first place, you're just a dumbass with nothing to show for it but a hefty hospital bill and possibly funeral costs.

  * e.g.,  ... Dumbass: Dude, Steve just got sent to the hospital with third-degree burns after we tried to play Hot potato with a molotov cocktail, and I was wondering if you could- 

 [ "Stove Award" ]

1: The Stove Award is an award given out to the absolute, most worthless person of the day/night. Often times awarded to the person who passes out first, acts like the biggest full blown mong, or to the one who contributes absolutely nothing to anyone all night. Named after Stove, the all time leader in most worthless behavior.

  * e.g.,  ... Jimmer, a perennial bottom feeder, drank two beers, complained about the taste, and then proceeded to act blackout drunk while puking throughout the entire night, making himself the most worthless person and the runaway favorite to take home the Stove Award for the night. 

 [ "Watson Award" ]

1: When somebody does something so asinine that it puts their health and the health of their friends at risk. What at one time seemed like a perfectly wise and humorous exercise quickly unfolds into near traumatic meltdown of epic proportion. Think Darwin, but not in the sense of reproduction or evolution.

  * e.g.,  ... When driving down a perfectly beautiful mountain road, one decides that a sparsely cleared, treacherously rocky, pine-cone encrusted jeep trail to the right seems like a logical route for a Subaru Forester to explore at 60 miles per hour. Screeching brakes, 100ft skid, flailing arms, wailing voices, mountains of dust, and a pine cone later, the car is humbling and hysterically unloaded to replace the right front wheel because a pine cone sliced a 1-inch gash in the sidewall. This deserves a Watson Award for sheer stupidity that ultimately led to endless laughter and ridicule.