" absorbs "

 [ "absorbent" ]

1: able to absorb or soak up; heat, light, moisture, movement, etc.

  * e.g.,  ... "My flow is heavy this month; good thing these tampons are so absorbent!" 

 [ "absorbed" ]

1: Intensively engaged; engrossed

  * e.g.,  ... I absorbed all my noodles 

 [ "Absorb" ]

1: To drain, and possibly soak, power or substance from a person, or liquid.

  * e.g.,  ... He just absorbed the water with a towel 

 [ "Absorb" ]

1: attract, draw attention by

  * e.g.,  ... She was totally absorbed by the busker while wandering on the streets. 

 [ "absorber" ]

1: someone who leeches off another person.

  * e.g.,  ... hey mike stop being an absorber, I dont want to be your spawn.  

 [ "Absorbation" ]

1: When a man edges for so long his penis becomes moisturised by all of the pre-cum absorbed into his skin as he strokes.

  * e.g.,  ... Man, absorbation makes your shaft soooooooooooo soft! 

 [ "Absorb" ]

1: Used to Nullify all different variants of "ur mom gay" or "no u" Bob absorbs it into his body, destroying the balance between heaven and hell, opening hell's gates and letting demons loose. Also takes a great toll on Bob's body. Making him paralyzed from his waist down, however, the "ur mom gay" is neutralized.

  * e.g.,  ... Bob: ur mom gay 

 [ "absorbent thong" ]

1: For those sassy seniors who have had it with those disturbingly obvious adult diapers.....say hello to Absorbent Thong! Our patented shoestring suction technology consumes every ounce of urine or poop it encounters!

  * e.g.,  ... I haven't felt like I was this young and sexy since i was young thanks to absorbent thong...did i leave the oven on? Dude...check out that sweet ass! 

 [ "Plop Absorber" ]

1: The act of positioning multiple layers of toilet paper on the water surface in the toilet, creating a cushion in order to prevent the water splashing or 'plopping' when a turd hits the surface, thus avoiding a loud noise being produced. The layers of tissue act as a cushion, absorbing sound energy of the turd . The art of Plop Absorbing is particularly useful when the toilet user wishes to remain anonymous to people outside of the bathroom.

  * e.g.,  ... Example 1: Arnold: "FUCK YOU NICKI! I told you I needed the toilet first!" 

 [ "selfie-absorbed" ]

1: A person whose instagram and other social media photo galleries are filled with selfies - even including the full body mirror reflection ones. The annoying self absorbed people who chronicalize every mundane detail of their lives by posting selfies.

  * e.g.,  ... See exhibit A: Kim Kardashian's instagram/twitter