" mortgages "

 [ "Mortgage" ]

1: A legally binding contract that allows a financial institution to rape you every month for the next 20-30 years. In return, you get the privilege of maintaining a dwelling out of your own pocket without actually owning it.

  * e.g.,  ...  So what'll it be this month Honey, pay the mortgage or get the driveway fixed? I used to have disposable income. Now I have a mortgage instead. 

 [ "mortgage" ]

1: Middle class slavery.

  * e.g.,  ... Millions felt entitled to live in gaudy McMansions they couldn't afford for the life they though they were entitled to. Bankers took advantage of these people, thus the sub-prime mortgage crisis. 

 [ "mortgage" ]

2: Investment bankers buy your home loans and manage you like cattle to make even more undeserved money. For some reason people are satisfied with the illusion that they own a small plot of land with a small box on it. Sure you can make a profit if you know how to flip real estate, but good luck paying your sub-prime mortgage with the job you just loss thanks to this fucked up economy.

 [ "Mortgage" ]

1: That weight around your neck that will never be alleviated until you (1) DIE or (2) eventually pay off by the time you are 107.

  * e.g.,  ... I would enjoy life but I have a mortgage. 

 [ "Mortgage" ]

1: 1) A loan against your property

  * e.g.,  ... Have you always had a mortgage, or did you used to like girls? 

 [ "Mortgage" ]

2: 2) Something that a homeowner might possess in his bid to own a home good and proper. Often to alleviate damage to his property incurred through it being 'owned'

 [ "mortgage" ]

1: possible root from the French verb "mourir" meaning to die. The English word "mortgage" refers a home owner's loan that is usually with you until you die. Usage of the French root is supposed to make it sound fancier than "loan" - but it doesn't really.

  * e.g.,  ... J'ai mort - meaning "I am dead" 

 [ "Mortgage" ]

1: The only reason you own a home.

  * e.g.,  ... I just closed on my mortgage. I'll be moving in to my new home next week. 

 [ "Mortgage" ]

1: A slang expression based on the length of time of financing for the average home loan, generally 15 to 30 years, used to denote a specific period of time generally associated with a lengthy jail or prison sentence.

  * e.g.,  ... I heard Kenneth went to court last week thinking he was going to get off with a light sentence or even probation. With all the stuff he was into and all the trouble he's caused, I wasn't a bit surprised to hear the judge mortgaged his ass to the state penitentiary. 

 [ "mortgage" ]

1: Another name for your wife or husband.

  * e.g.,  ... I'd better make this the last beer, it's time I got home to the mortgage. 

 [ "Mortgaged" ]

1: to be completely drunk

  * e.g.,  ... I was mortgaged last night. 

 [ "golden mortgage" ]

1:  A golden mortgage occurs when a bank or mortgage company allows the homeowner to sell their property for an amount that is lower than what is owed on the loan, then micturates on the newly dispossessed homeowner.

  * e.g.,  ... With his credit in Jeopardy, Archibald reluctantly donned a slicker and accepted a golden mortgage. 

 [ "golden mortgage" ]

2:  Rejected title revision for a song by a New York City rock band that takes its name from audio compressor settings.

  * e.g.,  ... The songwriter was shrewdly advised that, whatever he did, he must not change the name of his song to "Golden Mortgage." 

 [ "golden mortgage" ]

3:  A charge widely believed to be included in a sealed indictment against the R&B singer/songwriter R. Kelly.

  * e.g.,  ... Requesting a golden mortgage, the accused allegedly genuflected and looked into the eyes of his stylist's niece with pity and longing.