" kickoffs "

 [ "Kickoff, the" ]

1: First hit off of a blunt, joint, bowl or bong.

  * e.g.,  ... Its time for the kickoff. 

 [ "sales kickoff" ]

1: A usually annual gala event thrown by a company in order to reassure its sales group that they are the most important and precious things in the universe. Typically takes place in an expensive location with golf courses. Sales personnel fly in from all around the world to be cooed, wined and dined so they don't leave to work for a competitor. Funds for the lavish, days-long indulgence are generally appropriated by denying unimportant employees the essentials they need, such as sufficient headcount and adequate equipment. Unimportant employees generally include anyone not in sales or upper management, especially anyone who actually helps a customer after the deal has closed, such as Customer Service or Technical Support.

  * e.g.,  ... Tech Support Person: Man, I wish they'd hire more people. I've got 75 cases, and that means about 50 really pissed off customers at all times. 

 [ "Kickoff of Death" ]

1: When you boost to kickoff but don't flip, resulting in the other team possessing the ball and (99% of the time) scoring.

  * e.g.,  ... Hey, did you see how Sunless used the Kickoff of Death to troll Rocket League Boosters? 

 [ "hasn't seen the football since the kickoff" ]

1: Often used by Professor Steve Hailey and his students to affectionately describe a miscreant, degenerate, reprobate, or idiot that decided to read the book or watch the video on cybersecurity and/or digital forensics versus getting a real education.

  * e.g.,  ... The opposing expert said that Mr. Hailey and Mr. Andrew changed the computer evidence because she did not know how to properly interpret time and date stamps. Obviously, she hasn't seen the football since the kickoff; another point-and-click forensic analyst.