" instructional "

 [ "instructables" ]

1: a website where people post plans and/or instructions for projects. Topics include transportation, photography, art, pets, technology, explosives, and more

  * e.g.,  ... I got burned when I made a rocket from plans off of instructables. 

 [ "instructions" ]

1: Those words your wife keeps screaming at you while you try to figure out why your table only has 3 legs after you finished it.

  * e.g.,  ... Instructions were flying and so was the blood from my pinky. 

 [ "Instruction" ]

1: A kick-ass song by Jax Jones, Demi Lovato, and Stefflon Don

  * e.g.,  ... Person 1: "hey have you heard that new song Instruction?" 

 [ "instructive" ]

1: describing a novel, e.g. The Giving Tree, from which an extroverted inebriate in tenleytown may or may not have received some knowledge or life lesson, upon reading, once.

  * e.g.,  ... "i read a novel once." 

 [ "instructive" ]

2: however, to said inebriate, definition unknown.

  * e.g.,  ... "was it INSTRUCTIVE?" 

 [ "instruct" ]

1: generally used when associating the beating of someone's ass to the ground one is standing upon (i.e. pavement, gravel, grass, etc.)

  * e.g.,  ... "yo brotha', i'm gonna instruct doofus if he don't get his ganders off me." 

 [ "instructions unclear" ]

1: Used whenever someone gives blatantly awful instructions and leaves the person trying to learn worse off than where he/she was originally.

  * e.g.,  ... "To set up the demodulator 9000, hook up the synthescope sync clock to the upper radial bearing of the elliptical upper casing ..." "Instructions unclear: dick stuck in toaster." 

 [ "instructions unclear" ]

1: A phrase said when either the instructions were vague or not understood. Usually followed by getting one's genitals stuck in household appliances.

  * e.g.,  ... Instructions: To get your witchmax-2000 broomstick up and running you must sacrifice 1 virgin(whose first name must start with an 'X') on an altar which has the shape of the map of Argentina while reading the bible backwards in an Australian accent while writing the solution of three complex differential equations on the altar with a black bpelikan/b marker. 

 [ "basic instruction" ]

1: a jigger of well bourbon, split on the counter, wiped up with a rag, wrung out over a handful of ice from the salad bowl

  * e.g.,  ... I asked the bartender from a basic instruction and he threw me out of the bar 

 [ "instruction manual" ]

1: A short publication that would have saved you a lot of time if you bothered to read it. However, reading an instruction manual before attempting to assemble/use the product with which it came is a sure sign of mental and physical weakness.

  * e.g.,  ... The instruction manual was written in total gibberish. 

 [ "instruction manual" ]

2: Manuals come free with purchases of self-assembly furniture, electronic products, children’s toys and many, many other products.

  * e.g.,  ... The instruction manual's glossary section was extremely useful. 

 [ "instruction manual" ]

3: Some of these products are so simple to use, (eg. A padlock) that a 55 page, multi-lingual, fully referenced brochure doesn’t really seem necessary

  * e.g.,  ... Jack: Would you like to learn how your phone works in Arabic? 

 [ "instruction manual" ]

4: When writing an instruction manual, follow these simple rules and you can’t fail;

  * e.g.,  ... Jill: Oh Yes Please! 

 [ "instruction manual" ]

5:  Make the pages from stiff, shiny paper so that it’ll only stay open at the right page with the help of a rock, a toolbox and a dining room table positioned on each corner.

  * e.g.,  ... Jack: Here you are, it starts on page 20 

 [ "instruction manual" ]

6:  Make an extensive ‘Contents Page’ using the smallest font available and ensuring that you number the chapters, sections and sub-sections. Do this even if you only have 3 pages.

 [ "instruction manual" ]

7:  If applicable, include an illustration of the parts the buyer SHOULD have received and make sure this includes a picture of the manual itself.

 [ "instruction manual" ]

8:  When you reach the English chapter, don’t be tempted to waste money on a translator, as you can simply guess most English words and make up the rest as you go along.

 [ "instruction manual" ]

9:  Be sure to include diagrammatical information where appropriate – get a four year old child to help you with the drawings.

 [ "instruction manual" ]

10:  Make the manual's cover attractive to women so that they can sit on their comfy sofas and shout directions at their husband/boyfriend when they are doing perfectly well with superior male intuition (and brute force)

 [ "Work Instruction" ]

1: A riduculous document which is far too detailed and tricky to write, permanantly needs updating and then once ratified it disspears into a black hole never to be used by anyone.

  * e.g.,  ... Work Instruction for application processing