" finalists "

 [ "Mongolian esports finalist" ]

1: Take two Nintendo™ switch pro controllers, and two players. one controller up the ass and one up the urethra (can ALSO be up their ass if male), take another controller and play a game of smash bros (MUST be played while naked and lubricated in prune juice.) (Players can raise the stakes by having the commentators give them footjobs.) Whoever wins must make the other person ejaculate. (essentially ranked Jerkmate).

  * e.g.,  ... Ex. “Man, that guy pissed me off, so me and my gay best friend gave him the Mongolian esports finalist.” “Naturally, we won.” 

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

1: Items Needed:

  * e.g.,  ... Ex. “Man, that guy kicked my ass at esports finals, so now I have to face him in a Mongolian ESports Finalist tournament along with the commentators” 

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

2: -any television display or projector

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

3: -two normal sized people

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

4: -two Nintendo switch Pro Controllers -Nintendo Switch

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

5: -4 gallons of prune juice

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

6: -Super smash Bros ultimate cartridge for the Nintendo Switch -Match commentators (optional) Take two people and the Nintendo pro controllers, and insert the controllers in the ass or up the urethra (can also be up their vagina if female), and play a game of super smash bros while the controllers are inside them. (MUST be played while naked and lubricated in prune juice). Whoever wins must make the other person ejaculate AND lose the game of smash bros. (essentially ranked Jerkmate).

 [ "Mongolian ESports Finalist" ]

7: (To add an extra layer of difficulty, have the match commentators give the players footjobs while playing)

 [ "national merit finalist" ]

1: the medal that you get for being a sweat in high school

  * e.g.,  ... Mom: Jennifer's son Kevin is a National Merit Finalist and he's going to UCLA!