" countesses "

 [ "Countess" ]

1: The act of giving yourself a Stranger while wearing a large amount of jewellery on the hand in order to simulate being jerked off by a female aristocrat.

  * e.g.,  ... I can't wait for the jeweler to fix my bracelets to get fixed so I can give myself a Countess 

 [ "The countess" ]

1: The countess is a vampire in American Horror Story and she’s hot, she is portrayed by a more hotter person, Lady Gaga.

  * e.g.,  ... I love The Countess, she hot af. 

 [ "Countess Boochie Flagrante" ]

1: The alter ego responsible for anything bad you were caught doing. Originally a meme based on a Tumblr user that claimed "Eminem isn't violent, Slim Shady is," and the response "im robbing a bank tomorrow and when the cops come for me imma tell them it was my alter ego countess boochie flagrante," it is now used for any time someone tries a "that isn't really who I am" excuse.

  * e.g.,  ... Person: "I'm sorry about that videoed incident of me screaming racial slurs at minorities! I just want you to know, that does not represent the sort of person I am." Everyone Else: "Yeah, sure - it wasn't you, it was your alter ego, Countess Boochie Flagrante." Person: "I'm sorry I fucked your husband and then, when when the affair became public, spread terrible rumors about you so that I'd look like less of a homewrecker. I want you to know, that's not who I really am." Wife: "Ah yes! You didn't tell the neighborhood I was a bipolar valium addict, it was your famous alter-ego Countess Boochie Flagrante." Person: "I'm sorry for embezzling from that children's charity! That's not who I really am!" Everyone Else: "Countess Boochie Flagrante strikes again!" 

 [ "Countess Casavajones" ]

1: also referred to simply as countess, casa is a woman that enjoys the simple things in life: churro-ing her hair, blowing kisses at strangers, collecting zoos, chess tournaments where she plays herself, being followed around with a parasol, eating salmon from the silver dish they used in the Shiba cat food commercials, talking down to people, charity work, painting the town red, and force-cuddling dink.

  * e.g.,  ... One time at customs, they asked Countess Casavajones for her passport. She laughed, threw boiling hot tar on them, screamed do you know who i am, and left. 

 [ "dirty countess" ]

1: Any sex act involving the participation of all of the following demographics: one (or more) juggalo(s), one or more furry{(s) and a weeb.

  * e.g.,  ... Whoop whoop, I got John here with his fursuit, come over for the Dirty Countess you big weeb. 

 [ "countesse" ]

1: A word that murder inc thought up to rhym with shit to be cool, but they aren't

  * e.g.,  ... Ja Rule is countesse 

 [ "countess feona" ]

1: The most amazing bossy, adventurous and encouraging black woman alive. She's a true beautiful countess

  * e.g.,  ... Wow!! Who's that crazy beauty? Oh that's my friend countess feona